bunnynico

My brother Josh and I met up today in anticipation of tomorrow’s Hallmark holiday.  We decided to put together a care package for our brother, Zach, who has been having a rough time plugging through his dissertation for his Ph.D in Philosophy at Vandy.  It’s on democratic theory, and it makes my head hurt.   Actually, the more that I read what he has written, the more envious I am that I didn’t follow a similar academic path.   But my writing kind of sucks, and I really should have become an industrial designer, but that’s another subject altogether. 

I used to hate Zach.  For a few solid years, I was the youngest in our family, you see.  When he came along, he kind of ruined that for me and, in turn, I despised him for it.  This very quickly shifted to a deep and profound love for him — triggered by me accidentally dropping him on his head — that has only grown stronger over the years.  

Very quickly, it became clear that Zach was an exceptional person.  Yeah, he was smart; he always seemed to learn through osmosis.  He excelled in school, taught himself about computers in a MacGuyver-esqe manner, started his own web design business at 15, played three instruments, graduated from college at the top of his class with dual degrees in Engineering and Philosophy, earned a perfect score on the GRE’s, blah blah.  I could go on.  

I was always kind of envious of how easily tests and academia seemed to come to Zach, and I think that we were always a little competitive (in my mind, at least), more so than with our other siblings.  Not too long ago, our father made some statement to me in front of the rest of the family to the effect that, no matter how hard I tried, and despite having just earned two professional degrees, I would never be as smart as Zach.  That one kind of made me mad, but the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn’t want to be like Zach intellectually.  I have my own mind, my own intellect, my own experiences.  What I hoped to somehow emulate is his character:  Zach is one of the most loyal, sincere, thoughtful, honest, decent human beings that I have ever met.  He has always been there for me.  Always.  Especially through my deepest nights of despair when others’ true colors revealed themselves and cut me really deep.  I don’t think that I have met very many people in this world with remotely the same caliber of integrity, compassion, and decency.  And I don’t just say this because he’s my brother (I could go on about Josh, but he’s sitting right next to me right now, though I think similarly of him as well).  

So, fuck. I was just planning on listing what we’ve included in this box:

• Water balloons with water loader
• Mad libs (we did a couple)
• Mike ‘n Ikes and other candy
• 2 X-Ray Fish
• Lots of Chocolate
• Pedestrian turn signal eye glasses
• Post cards with photos of PA and inspirational quotes by Jack Handy
• 1 Maxim magazine
• 1 3-CD Bob Marley box set 
• Gorilla (duct) tape (for his imminent move!)
• Inspirational stickers
• “Remember When” book from the year of his birth
• CD:  The Architech (mixes by Josh)
• CD:  Zach’s Dissertation:  Chapter 3 (Jess + Josh Jock Rock)
• CD:  Zach’s Dissertation:  Chapter 3 (songs to write to)
• 1 Pen with invisible ink
• 1 Pen with zebra strips
• 2 Red pens
• Some pointless glass ball thing that I blew in a class that I took that you can hang somewhere and it reflects light
• A card 
• Lots of love

I hope I’m not missing something.  Kind of bummed right now that we didn’t purchase that superhero cape with mask and matching wrist bracelet.

p.s. Zach, in the off-chance that you are actually reading this, your surprise is ruined!!!